Wednesday, May 26, 2010


ME: Hey! I'm on my way, you know.

TIM: It's me. You should just stop now.

ME: Well, I'm trying to generate enthusiasm. You know, I've completed the Master's portion and I'm officially in the doctoral program. IN IT TO WIN IT!!!!

TIM: Again. It's me. You should just stop now.

ME: Really. You're right. I don't even feel excited. It's just another day isn't it? No big deal. I don't know why I'm not more "up" about this. It's an accomplishment.

TIM: Deborah, you're never "up" about anything. It's just your nature. Why should it be different for this? When you're genuinely enthusiastic about something, it shows. If you don't feel enthusiasm, don't sweat it. Why are you even concerned?

ME: Well, I get congratulated and people ask me what my plans are and if I'm excited and I have no answers for them. I can't work yet...I have more schooling...It just seems like I'm more in the middle of my journey than at the end, or even at a mile stone.

TIM: So...what do you need me for?

ME: I don't know. Don't you have something pithy to add to the conversation? Maybe about how I should dress the part? Fake-it-till-I-make-it kind of thing?

TIM: Are you questioning the road you've chosen?

ME: ?

TIM: You semi-heard me. Are you? Are you wondering if you're taking the correct path? If you should stop now or continue with your current trajectory, or even change to a different track?

ME: Well, I'm always looking at other "things" and how I can use what I know in other applications. Does that count?

TIM: Do you have to find a job tomorrow?

ME: No. I have awhile.

TIM: What on your immediate agenda?

ME: Going to Ohio to see my mother, kids, the whole shebang.

TIM: Are they going to demand these kinds of answers from you regarding your future?

ME: Oh no. We're just going to hang, eat, and laugh.

TIM: Exactly. What don't you just take that brain of yours out of overdrive and relax for a few weeks. We can revisit all of this in the fall when school starts again. Stop "trying" to feel emotions that you're not feeling. That's called being "authentic". Not unlike that crazy color of nail polish I've been all over you about. And don't get me started on the synthetic leopard print in your closet. Repeat after me, "There are no synthetic leopards".

ME: See you in Ohio....