TIM: You know, to some you would appear smug, but I know better.
TIM: Oh! Street cred! Holla!
ME: Stop knowing me so well! Let me have a weird AND bad day.
TIM: I live for your weird, bad days.
ME: I have a 25 page paper due in 5 days and I'm creatively constipated.
TIM: So, you have an alliterative problem.
ME: Oh my word, I can't come up with anything. I wrote a proposal and not only did the topic get shot down, but I didnt' get the full number of points. I threw an academic tantrum, I complained, I beat my fists against the ivy-covered walls...
TIM: You mean the "virtual" ivy-covered walls, right? And the truth is, the proposal you submitted was the wrong one, right? You didn't follow through and edit for mistakes. It's the same as one of our designers sending down an outfit from a prior week's challenge. It was from an entirely different class from an entirely different quarter! What were you thinking?
ME: I KNOW!!! The names of the documents were virtually identical. The only difference was this "_"...that little under line mark. Puhleese!!! What the heck???
TIM: Deborah, you saved those documents yourself. That was YOUR doing, no one else's.
ME: Hey! Who's side are you on?
TIM: Seriously? Would we even be having this or any other conversation if I EVER agreed with you about anything? Our entire relationship is based on me giving you snarky, yet wise and pithy feedback about your pathetic existence, or attempt at one.
ME: I know...
TIM: Did you apologize to the professor?
ME: I practically groveled.
TIM: No really, did you say you were sorry?
ME: I'm serious. I not only asked for forgiveness, I admitted that it was my mistake and then I said that we were both wise and acted in our own best consciousness. I even said, "Go, us."
TIM: *chuckling and shaking head* Oh well then....as long as you patted yourself on the back while you said you were sorry, by all means, she should certainly rethink the entire thing and give you an "A"....PLUS even!
ME: Did I do that?
TIM: "Go, us?" No...you were very humble...I could see your vertebrae as you bent over in humility.
ME: I sense sarcasm.
TIM: Are YOU being sarcastic?
ME: What is this...some kind of weird rabbit hole of snarkiness?
TIM: Look, you apologized. Good. You saved your ego, not so good. When you make a mistake, own it. It doesn't make you a smaller person for admitting when you went wrong and then fixing it. You'll be more careful in the future. If the professor can sense that from you, then you'll be fine. If she has an ego problem, which she might, there's little to anything you can do about it and in the future, when you're teaching, you'll know to be more sensitive. Look for the good in any trial you face-it's always there. Now stop me before I swoon over myself.
ME: I've got it. Yeesh. I'll just plow forward. I guess that was a poor choice of words. Have you noticed the extra pounds I've put on?
TIM: Oh dear, that's another post entirely.
ME: Wait, don't go! Come back here and talk to me!!!
TIM: Another day dear....get rid of the cheesecake....
ME: I wasn't eating any....
TIM: I was addressing your thighs.