TIM GUNN TALKS SMACK...ER..."MAC"

TIM: You're smiling again. And that is seldom a good sign for anyone.

ME: Hahahah. Well! I've figured out that whole Youtube thing and I have mastered it.

TIM: You've "mastered" Youtube? Why is this a frightening thought?

ME: Don't be sceered. I've started posting silly little videos I've made with my Mac computer. I think they're funny so I started an account on Youtube so I could post them there.

TIM: And the point is?

ME: Is this where I say another pointy-head joke? Because you know I love pointy-head jokes?

TIM: No. Spare me. What exactly are you uploading to Youtube? And will I be sorry I asked?

ME: Here's what I do. This is my creative process.

TIM: I'm sorry already. Carry on.

ME: You're not sorry, you just love saying "carry on" and I love hearing it. We're a little dysfunctional like that.

TIM: Speak for yourself.

ME: I always do, you're in my head.

TIM: Oh for crying out loud...

ME: OKAY OKAY. Here's what I do; I turn on my Mac computer to the IPhoto. I switch on the video component and turn on one of those crazy visuals like a "squeeze head" or something where I'm all distorted. I look at myself and then, this crazy persona or character comes into my head and sort of takes over. I hear her voice, I get a sense of her story, and then I just start speaking it.

TIM: Speaking what?

ME: Her story! I'm not scripted or anything. I just take off. It's like I'm channeling or something. It's the funnest thing ever!!! You know how some people channel long lost spiritual giants? Well, apparently I channel embittered divorcees and old women with bad face lifts. I don't think I'm "evolved" enough to catch a being of light or a mystical warrior, maybe next lifetime, eh?

TIM: I see.

ME: Hey. That's what psychotherapists say.

TIM: Go on.

ME: They say that as well. Are you writing stuff down? Are you taking notes?

TIM: Why? Would that bother you?

ME: What are you doing Tim? Are you trying to psychotherapize me? What the heck Tim?

TIM: Don't get angry. I just find it curious that you're caught up in this activity of "channeling" other people's personalities?

ME: Oh, you mean like style gurus? You mean like imagining entire conversations with imaginary men? You mean like that Tim? TIM?

TIM: Hmmmmm. I suppose, on hindsight, there probably isn't anything horribly out of kilter about it? It sounds harmless really. It's actually quite humorous. I say "CARRY ON"!!!

ME: I thought that was what you were going to say.

TIM: Well, of course you did, you're brilliant like that...