Friday, February 25, 2011

TIM GUNN TALKS ME THROUGH MOVING DAY

ME: I see old people.

TIM: Are you in a house of mirrors?

ME: That just keeps getting funnier and funnier.

TIM: What's the drama du jour?

ME: I'm moving and my neighbors are so old!

TIM: What did you expect? Your community is a 55 and over neighborhood. It's "gated" for crying out loud. You're surrounded by lovely, mature people.

ME: I'm not lovely or mature.

TIM: Hey! Isn't it nice when we agree?

ME: I'm serious. How will this work? Some of these people are on oxygen and I still play air guitar. I'm having a confidence crisis.

TIM: What are your biggest concerns and for whom?

ME: Ugh. I know this trick. This is where you ask a question and I go deep under my psychological, subconscious blankets to shine a light and seek out the underlying causes of my anxiety, right?

TIM: If the metaphor fits.

ME: I don't blend.

TIM: Have you ever?

ME: I'm not retired.

TIM: Is that the law there?

ME: I don't garden or knit or dress my dogs in coats.

TIM: Deborah, did you actually see dogs dressed in anything?

ME: No.

TIM: Are you afraid of the day that you will blend?

ME: ...

TIM: It won't happen.

ME: How do you know that?

TIM: Seriously, Deborah? You're talking to an imaginary fashion guru in your head. By the time you blend, you'll be the happiest person on the planet.

ME: Promise?

TIM: Oh yes. Just promise me that you'll dress accordingly.

ME: What will that look like.

TIM: I can't tell you what it WILL look like, but I can tell what it WON'T look like. No muu muus and no perms, other than that, we'll deal with it as it pops up.

ME: Cool. Bring it, geezers.

5 comments:

R. Jacob said...

Tim has many issues! Or is it you or is it...never mind.....

The Katzbox said...

Hello friend! Welcome to the rabbit hole of weirdness that is my brain. Glad you could stop by.

:)

R. Jacob said...

did you ever contact him about your blog? I am sure he would be very flattered!

The Katzbox said...

I haven't done that yet, R.J. I don't know what he would do. Oh my gosh, do you know what I almost just did? I almost capitalized the "h" in "he", making him a diety.

Really, when will this end?

R. Jacob said...

I think he would laugh his ass off!