TIM GUNN ON AGING ISSUES

TIM: What's that smell?

ME: I'm fine. And yourself?

TIM: No really. What is that?

ME: That's my sore knee. I speed-walked today and now I'm paying for it. It's an ointment the doctor prescribed.

TIM: You mean unguent.

ME: What is an "unguent"?

TIM: Deborah, I came from your head, that word was in there. You must know what it means.

ME: Whatever. I need to treat the knee and prescription salve is the treatment of choice.

TIM: What's wrong with good old-fashioned aspirin? The swelling goes down, the pain goes away, and no one smells your problem.

ME: Well, it's not good for the alimentary canal, it doesn't cut it in the pain department and this is less invasive.

TIM: Speak for yourself, my olfactory system has been invaded plenty.

ME: Your olfactory will recover.

TIM: What's wrong with your knee anyway?

ME: It's refusing to play well with the rest of us. We, collectively the rest-of-my-body-mind-and-spirit, are actually quite young at heart; but the old knees are grumpy old things that refuse to get along. They ache and moan and cause problems.

TIM: Hmmmmmm, sounds like some people I know...and by "some people" I mean certain bloggers who have imaginary conversations with style gurus.

ME: Hey! I am not an achy, moany, problem-causing blogger. I am fun. I am youthful. I am.....covered in unguent complaining about my joints. Oh my gosh, I'm old.

TIM: No no no...you're not technically "old"...you're just biking toward the exit ramp. You'll get there one day, but just don't kid yourself that you'll never make that turn-off. Enjoy the ride, take in the scenery. It's alright to know that the exit ramp to senior-ville is ahead, perhaps even way ahead, but you can go in style. You can even wear those leggings you're so fond of.

ME: So, I'm doing relatively okay on this aging journey?

TIM: You're doing "relatively okay"...just don't throw away the aspirins.